BDD8 - I01 - Keith and Terrence

"Say, did I ever tell you about the time I took my godson clay modelling?"

"Don't think so, if you did I can't remember."

"Story time then, you'll love this one. Basically, it all started out when I had the lad for a weekend while his mum and dad were away. Martin wasn't my biggest fan, but Celia always loved her Uncle Keith – that's what she called me, even though I wasn't really her uncle – and that's why they left little Neil with me while they went for a weekend away. So, I had a six year old lad with me, and I had fuck all of an idea what to do with him; but after three or four hours, I was so fed up of his whinging about being bloody bored that I decided "Right, let's take him clay modelling, he'll like that""

"Big mistake?"

"Tremendous fucking mistake. We got there, and he got his clay on the spinning wheel and that, and I went for a cuppa in the café. Came back, and in his hands was his new model. I shit you not, it was a massive clay cock. Not accidentally phallic, because a lot of things end up like that, but an unmistakeable model of male genitalia, it had a bell end and everything."

"Hah, sounds like he was a right tearaway."

"Oh, I haven't even finished yet. Y'see he'd asked to have it varnished and everything while I was having my drink, so I had to fork over nigh on forty quid for that bloody wanger. And then I had to decide what on earth to do with it, because Neil was quite proud of it and I didn't want Martin having a go at me for taking his son's cock away. So I left it on the breakfast table overnight, and the next morning I ate my cereal with the fuckin' thing leering at me...with it's one eye..."

*At this point, Terrence bursts out laughing*

"So what did you do with the bloody thing?"

"Told him to give it to his dad as a present, tell him it was a kitchen roll holder. Seen a photo on Facebook a few days later, saying Martin had a massive brown dildo on his kitchen windowsill. Funnily enough, I was never asked to look after Neil after that."